Connected

Giarne

Hi I'm Giarne

Kimmy

And I'm kimmy.

Giarne

We are two vibrant women excited about connection. We're interested in everything from self-discovery to the breakable and unbreakable bonds that we've through our various life stages.

Kimmy

Let's talk about identity.

Giarne

What about intimacy? Sex partnership, friendship and parenting.

Kimmy

And let's do it with our characteristic candor, compassion, and curiosity. You are in for a treat. Giarne is. Super funny, and Kimmy has.

Giarne

Incredible insights. Learn and grow as you eavesdrop into our unscripted and warm conversations. Welcome to connected.

Kimmy

It's great to be here, these combos are so enriching and fun.

Giarne

It really is. We have officially launched. We have launched our podcast. Most of our episodes. Till now we have recorded in advance and so I sort of feel like this feels a little different because well, no, we're out there.

Kimmy

I know, and they're enjoying listening to it, which is just such an an added bonus because I guess my primary motivation at. The start was just. To experience joy in our conversations, they're so generative for me, and I love your difference in perspective and opinion. And I love that we can establish a common ground. Even though we may have different perspectives, absolutely, it's beautiful opportunity for us to demonstrate that two women can think differently and believe different things and yet still love each other deeply and have a great connection.

Giarne

I couldn't have said it better. Myself, I feel like the process of having decided to launch our podcast and just like going for it, you know, you said to me, I really want to have the podcast out before Christmas and I'm. Like holy ****, cool we got this. And there wasn't, like, a big, you know? The set date we picked or a huge marketing plan, it was literally just, you know what? Let's put our magic out into the world and see what happens because we have loved the creative process of making this. And the rewarding feeling when someone messages and says I really loved that. I loved listening to the interplay between you and Kimmy and just you made me think, or I felt seen. Ohh man, that it has made it so worth it. So I just. Like thank you to. Everyone who has listened and downloaded. Yeah, just moving.

Kimmy

What is bubbling up? For you today to chat about. I love asking you this question.

Giarne

Because you go on an adventure with me, we go, we go wherever my. Brain takes us. So Chris and. I went for lunch together. We just got back. It was really nice to sit and feel connected. There's like, things have been a bit wild and hectic in the lead up to Christmas. It's just been so nice to take a minute and we spent a bit of time like reflecting on how much growth and change has happened in the last. 12 months for each of us for our business and just sort of sitting in that place of gratitude and pride and. And the kind of stuff that oftentimes I think particularly, I don't know if particularly for women, but I know my lived experience has been that it's not as socially acceptable to celebrate you in a **** you. I did a good job kind of way. And and I kind. Of want to challenge that I can't like that was the thing that was sort of showing up for me as we're doing this and like this is a practice. We use we often. Do it throughout. This is how we manage life. I guess, but oftentimes at that like, you know end of year start a new year, everyone starts talking about resolutions and yeah, just kind of sitting for a minute. And instead of looking back at all the **** we didn't achieve. Going wow, what was the things? That we did. And how did that? Feel are you a New Year's resolution? Kind of go?

Kimmy

I am I am a New Year's aspirational girl.

Giarne

Ohh tell me more.

Kimmy

That journey has shifted over the years, so initially for years I've been the type of person that would have very clear cut. Goals about it. Precisely what I wanted to achieve in that year or experience, along with the kind of qualities within myself that I wanted to develop. And as I've gotten older, I'm less goal directed. Now I find that really limiting and it doesn't really lend itself very well or in a kind way to me now. Being a mum and a business owner and a friend and etcetera. So now I'm I focus more on aspiration. What am I aspiring to here? What kind of a person do I wanna be? How do I wanna feel? And I would say that's the type of person I am now, but definitely I have engaged in reflection and started that process about the journey of this year. This year's kicked my **** in many ways. Field and December's quite a reflective month for me and New Year's Eve is probably the most significant time of the year for me in terms of identity.

Giarne

Ohh is there a reason? And are you? Comfortable sharing and it's OK if you're not.

Kimmy

I think it's. Like there's something about.

Giarne

A new year? Ohh yeah,

Kimmy

Beginning and it's the symbolism. With that, it's like I've put this year to bed and I'm gonna be really intentional in the next year and it's like I use that day to consolidate everything that's happened to integrate all the ways I've changed and all the things that have happened. And how can I take the best parts of me into the new year? And live with intention. That's the best way I. Can describe it. I'm probably going to have to do a little bit more. Reflecting to give you a better answer.

Giarne

No, I think you nailed it. Yeah. I've never been a a resolutions gal. I am neuro spicy and so I will abandon whatever amazing resolution I upset before January is over. Because yeah, I just it's not. It's not me. So resolutions and like I when you said that like goal setting just doesn't do it for you anymore. I like that landed so hard for years. I was like, right, I'm gonna achieve this goal and if I've achieved it then I'm a success. And if I haven't then I'm not and it's just too binary. It's too black and white. Just like encompass the experience that is being human.

Kimmy

Yeah, also a little boring. I mean, it's nice to have. A map. It's nice to have a bit of a direction, I just. I just know for myself that I grow so much and I grow so quickly and I outgrow goals. And yes, yeah. And then it kind of makes me feel like if I haven't achieved them, is that a failure, then it it's too much pressure. It's like the whole work life balance thing. No, I don't. I don't want to focus on. The work life balance, I actually wanna focus on. What am I doing to meet my need to feel OK right now?

Giarne

And I guess it kind of comes with a focus of like valued based living and when we first met, you said to me that the pursuit or I mean it was the pursuit of joy. But it was like the decisions and the choices that you made were based on a foundation in joy. And I just loved that so much. I've stolen it. It's mine now. I'll you can have some copyright credit, maybe I'll decide. But yeah, I just it just. Because it's not like stuck in a goal of, like you said, is it success or failure? Is it an outcome or not? Should I finish? Shouldn't I have like, I really love reflective practice? I find it. I find comfort in it. Umm, it feels like the word that's coming up is like safe.

Kimmy

Ohh, talk to me more. About the safety generated through.

Giarne

I think it depends obviously a little bit on what your mind space is at a time, but I find I find in reflection I find gratitude. I find the ability to pull out the joy moments, the positive moments rather than sitting in like criticism. Hmm and it feels. It feels warm, like someone's giving you a big hug, or like the, you know, you're sitting there and you're going. Hey, hey, Jan, take look at what you've managed to do in the last. 12 months or. How you have felt in the last 12 month? And all the things that if you asked Jan of 2022 that you would never have even imagined were possible and and you did. Those and yeah. When we have joy, we have to have the opposite of that, which is pain. And so in order to have the those moments of joy, I have to have had an experience of. What the other side of that looks like, and yet I'm so grateful for. Both. Yeah, it just it feels really. I know. I know what? The word is good.

Kimmy

Yeah, you might really enjoy a practice that I do every year and that is I write myself a letter for future Kimmy for the next New Year's Eve, and sometimes the contents of the letter changes. It's really beautiful to hear. The voice of the woman. That was. 12 months ago.

Giarne

Ohh I love that.

How do you not lose it cause I'd lose it

Kimmy

Ohh I love you. Well, you know, I'm hyper organised. Hmm so. I always keep things in the same place, so I don't lose. Things I just feel like. What a beautiful. Investment into the future me that I'm loving myself enough to write this letter to myself. And then read the letter. Back in a year's time with such grace for that person that didn't know as much as I do now, and you know, maybe we're struggling with things that I don't know and I. It's a, it's. A practice in self compassion. It's just lovely.

Giarne

Ohh yeah yeah, it really is a practice and self compassion, I agree.

Kimmy

If you were to write yourself a letter, fit for yourself to read next year, what? Would be in it.

Giarne

If I had written a letter to. Myself, let's say. We went back even, like not that long ago. Like if we went to the very start of 2020. Mm-hmm. And I had written a letter to myself for the end of 2020. It would have included lots of. A promotion maybe be pregnant. Have been on a holiday like I would. Have had some really you. Know like tangible, but things not so much experience. And I think the giant that is sitting here in December 2023, I don't know that there would be very many specific stuff in the letter. I think it would definitely have more of a a desire to continue. My love of learning and a desire to, I hope that you have continued to pursue growth. And I hope that you have maintained your focus on what it is that matters to you and if you've lost your way in that, I hope that you have continued to practice the compassion that you want to give to yourself, yeah. I really love this idea. That, Kimmy, I'm going to. Have to do it because it's just such like it's hope, isn't it? Rather than like setting a list of expectations for yourself that you can then fail or succeed at, there's like a potential here to give yourself a gift. Of like what I hope For you.

Kimmy

Hmm. Ohh yeah. My wish for you is XYZ so powerful. Also there's a lot of faith I have. Faith in you? I have so much faith in you. I'm writing you a letter to read in 12 months time. Yeah, yeah.

Giarne

I know there's been times particularly say from 2020 till the end of 2021 where during my pregnancy and then probably you know the 12 to 18 months after where the idea of writing a letter that had hope in it felt really hard. Because I was deep in the trenches of perinatal mental health and really struggling with with that, and so to write a letter that was hopeful about what the future could look like felt like a lot of pressure and really hard. So if you're listening to this and you're going, I don't know how to write hope right now and you guys are amazing and you're doing all these wonderful things for yourself and good for you. But that's not me. That's OK too. Like I think you. Have have a letter that literally just goes. You know what this journey is really hard and I hope that at the end of this next year that it feels a little bit. Less heavy and that Could be it even.

Kimmy

If you can't. Include the hope. So I've had many, many years where I've I've done this for decades. This practice. Ohh really? And there have been many years where I have just ended the year feeling so despondent and in those letters, I literally just right. Where am I now? What is life looking like? How do I feel and some? Hans, I dare not hope. And that's OK too. And that's all that's in the letter. Is this is this is the woman I am right now. And right now I can't imagine anything else for myself or right now. This is all I've. Got and then I read it in 12 months time and maybe I've progressed an inch or maybe I'm completely different. And that that's the therapeutic value in that for me. So yes, if you are listening and you are in a place of despondency and there are many glimmers and there and you. Can't hold hope for yourself just right. Where where you're at at the moment. What kind of woman you. Are right now?

Giarne

Yeah, that's actually such a good idea because. Even if, like if you get to the end of. The next 12 months, there's. A pretty like, I sort of feel like there's like a 99% chance that you're not gonna feel like the same. Person, even if you're. Not further ahead and I put inverted commas around this because that assumes that a journey is linear in an upward trajectory, but you're not gonna be that exact same person. You had a. Whole year of. Incredible experiences and journeys and you know. Maybe some of them. This act and maybe some of them, were the best. Thing you've ever had. It's like a snapshot in time to. Give you the OK, well, that's where I was right then and I'm not there anymore. That's really cool.

Kimmy

And also the external situation might still be the same. For example, you might still be in that unhealthy or unhappy marriage, but you might be different and so you can track those sorts of things too.

Giarne

That's a really good distinction. The distinction between a physical location and like an emotional or a mental space too. I like that you were. Able to see that. I am excited for the new year. I'm excited for 2024. I'm excited for what the future is gonna bring because I don't know yet. I'm not going into it saying 2024 is gonna be the best year yet. It's just I hate that with passion. But I'm excited. I'm excited. For what the next day brings?

Kimmy

I can tell. You though that you're going into 2024 being the best version of yourself, yet that's what matters. And it's been such a privilege and a joy to watch you evolve and just really start to bloom in. Ever vibrant ways. So beautiful to watch.

Giarne

Mmm. I sat in this restaurant and hubby and I just had lunch and one of the things I was talking about was how grateful I have been. That 2023 included Kimmy. And and not. Just for the you know, the podcast and all the rest of it, but just for you, for all that you are and all that you're becoming. And the the beauty of of the impact of your presence in my life, because I am a different person for having had the impact of you in my. Life and our listeners and my family and the. World is so grateful. For everything that you are connection, isn't it wonderful?

Kimmy

I appreciate you

Giarne

and now that we've gotten really sappy.

Kimmy

Happy New year, babe.

Giarne

Yeah. Happy New Year, everybody.

Kimmy

Well, that was beautiful.